My TW ( the web) is amazing;send in your favorites...

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:> > >> > > Ø 40-ish..................................49.> > > Ø Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.> > > Ø Athletic................................No breasts.> > > Ø Average looking.....................Moooo.> > > Ø Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.> > > Ø Emotionally Secure................On medication.> > > Ø Feminist...............................Dyke.> > > Ø Free Spirit............................Junkie.> > > Ø Friendship first.......................Former Slut.> > > Ø New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.> > > Ø Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s> > > Ø Open-minded.........................Desperate.> > > Ø Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.> > > Ø Professional...........................Bitch.> > > Ø Voluptuous............................Chubby.> > > Ø Large frame...........................Big & fat.> > > Ø Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.> > >> > > DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:> > >> > > Ø Yes.....................................No> > > Ø No......................................Yes> > > Ø Maybe.................................No> > > Ø We need...............................I want> > > Ø I am sorry............................You'll be sorry> > > Ø We need to talk....................You're in trouble> > > Ø Sure, go ahead.....................You better not> > > Ø Do what you want................You will pay for this later> > > Ø I am not upset.....................Of course, I am upset, you moron!> > > Ø You're attentive tonight.........Is sex all you ever think about?> > >> > > DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:> > > Ø I am hungry...............................I am hungry> > > Ø I am sleepy................................I am sleepy> > > Ø I am tired..................................I am tired> > > Ø Nice dress.................................Nice cleavage!> > > Ø I love you..................................Let's have sex now> > > Ø I am bored.................................Do you want to have sex?> > > Ø May I have this dance?................I'd like to have sex with you.> > > Ø Can I call you sometime?...............I'd like to have sex with you.> > > Ø Do you want to go to a movie?.......I'd like to have sex with you.> > > Ø Can I take you out to dinner?.........I'd like to have sex with you.> > > Ø I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.> > >> > >